Gwenin: Clarity by Design

How to Reach Out to Your Mentor

“Stuckness” happens quietly. It can creep in during transitions, decisions, or moments when progress just halts, sometimes without a clear reason. And yet, it’s precisely in these moments that mentorship becomes most powerful. Not as a fix-it tool, but as a companion in complexity.

This guide helps you reflect on where you are, name your needs, and reach out with warmth, specificity, and care. It’s especially designed for those who support others or move between roles, where reaching out can feel extra complicated. Use it gently, iteratively, and honestly.

1. Notice What’s Really Going On

Noticing is the first antidote to spiralling.

Before reaching out, give shape to the fog. You don’t need a tidy ask, just enough self-awareness to begin the conversation with care.

• What is your stuckness shaped by?
  ☐ Overwhelm or burnout
  ☐ Lack of clarity or next steps
  ☐ Fear of judgement or failure
  ☐ Emotional fatigue or personal stress
  ☐ Feedback avoidance
  ☐ Other: _______________________

✍ I’m noticing ____________________________
✍ I’m curious about ____________________________
✍ I’m holding back because ____________________________

🟦 Prompt: What’s the story you’re telling yourself about your stuckness? Is it kind? Is it accurate?

Optional group reflection: Map common “stuck patterns” together in mentoring cohorts. Normalise the messy middle.

2. Clarify the Kind of Support You Need

Not all help is the same. Match the moment to the support.

Naming your support needs, however loosely, helps your mentor respond in ways that feel resonant, not overwhelming.

Support Type	What It Might Sound Like	Does This Feel Right?
Clarity	“Can you help me break this into steps?”	☐ Yes ☐ Maybe ☐ Not right now
Reassurance	“Can I share where I am without being judged?”	☐ Yes ☐ Maybe ☐ Not right now
Perspective	“Am I missing something I can’t see right now?”	☐ Yes ☐ Maybe ☐ Not right now
Challenge	“I need someone to call me in or stretch my thinking.”	☐ Yes ☐ Maybe ☐ Not right now
Connection	“Can I just talk this through with someone who gets it?”	☐ Yes ☐ Maybe ☐ Not right now

✍ Right now, I most need ____________________________ because ____________________________

🟦 Prompt: You don’t need the perfect label. Even sharing that you’re unsure opens the door to relational support.

3. Draft the Message: Focus on Care, Not Perfection

It’s not about eloquence. It’s about showing up.

Here’s a gentle structure for your message:

“Hi [Mentor’s Name], I’m in a bit of a stuck space and would really appreciate your perspective. I’m navigating [brief context, e.g. competing priorities, decision paralysis, low momentum] and feeling [honest emotion]. If you’re open to a short chat or message exchange, I’d be really grateful.”

Optional additions:

• Suggest timing: “Even 15 minutes in the next two weeks would be helpful.”
• Set tone: “I don’t need answers, just a bit of grounding.”

✍ I might open with: “I’ve been sitting with…” or “This feels vulnerable, but…”

🟦 Prompt: A message built on self-awareness and humanity invites deeper, more meaningful dialogue.

4. Ready Yourself to Receive Support

Support is a skill, too. Prepare to listen to yourself and your mentor.

Before the conversation:

✍ One thing I’ve tried already is ____________________________
✍ A truth I haven’t fully said aloud is ____________________________
✍ A question I hope they might ask is ____________________________

You don’t need polished responses, just a willingness to co-create insight.

🟦 Prompt: Think about the emotional conditions that help you receive care. How can you name those upfront?

Bonus option for mentors: Share this section with mentees to invite reciprocal trust-building.

5. After the Conversation: Capture the Resonance

Don’t let the support fade quietly. Make it meaningful by anchoring what mattered.

Afterwards:

☑ Jot down a phrase or idea that helped shift your perspective
☑ Send a short note of appreciation
☑ Choose one small action within 48 hours to honour the momentum

✍ What stayed with me is ____________________________
✍ A kind permission I’ll carry forward is ____________________________
✍ My next experiment or gentle step is ____________________________

🟦 Prompt: Support isn’t just given, it’s metabolised. Integration turns advice into transformation.

Final Reflection: Stuckness Has Intelligence

Stuckness isn’t failure. It’s often the signal of a threshold, a boundary between what was working and what no longer fits. Mentorship is one way to walk across that threshold with more company, more clarity, and more care.

🟦 Prompt: ✍ Next time I feel stuck, one thing I will remember is ____________________________

Explore more with us:

• Browse Spiralmore collections
• Read our Informal Blog for relaxed insights
• Discover Deconvolution and see what’s happening
• Visit Gwenin for a curated selection of frameworks